


Significance

by Blankpires



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Existential Angst, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 01:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blankpires/pseuds/Blankpires
Summary: The quality of being worth of attention; importance.Was Vernon of any significance?





	Significance

Significance.

It was a simple word with not much to it, depending on the context some people even chose to ignore it. In the context of life, significance is very black and white for most people. For Vernon it was something that kept him awake at night, something that brought him nothing but mental breakdowns. During the nights where he couldn't sleep, which happened very often, he would get up, go to the bathroom and force hurt himself so he could distracted even for just a moment.

That pain distracted him, that pain helped him sleep, that pain stopped him from thinking about how insignificant he truly is. That pain forced him to hide himself, however that was just a small price to pay for a bit of mental rest.

Vernon felt like all those wounds were just like him, they had no significance. He kept all his wounds well hidden, he knew how to control them, the physical and mental ones. But when it all got just a bit too much it was always the same thing. His mind raced with the same questions and philosophies over and over.  
Am I significant? If I'm not why do I worry about it? If I am why do I worry about it? No matter which side he took, it always kept pestering him. No matter what he chose, it would stay on the back of his head nagging him.

In rare occasions where Vernon would just feel completely numb, he would wonder what could stop his suffering. Something other than physical pain he forced himself to feel. Would he ever be able to control all his thoughts? No hide them, not keep them low key just make them cease to exist. Would he ever find an answer to his biggest foe, significance? But thinking about getting better did nothing but make him feel worse. It seems like an impossible thing and it probably is. That also kept him awake, and if he fell asleep those thoughts would jerk him wide awake. Vernon knew there was a solution to all his pain however, all those awful feelings, thoughts and worries about significance would disappear.

But alas he knew that, that solution would not only end his pain but also create pain for the people he loves the most. And he'd rather live suffering like this forever than hurt those who believe Vernon is significant.


End file.
